Dear Daughter, 

In a country where about half a million girls are not allowed to take birth every year, you were eagerly awaited. I secretly desired a daughter and I could not thank the almighty enough when you stepped into my life. First things first;

It will not be easy. And secondly, easy is boring. So don’t panic when the ride is bumpy. Take it on your stride and learn to iron it out. Most importantly, learn. Learn from your experiences. Learn from the books you read. Learn from the places you friends. Learn from strangers. Learn from the decisions you have taken and the visit. Learn from the homeless. Learn from the well-fed. Learn from your thrown your way and introspect on what you have gathered. And then you can make mistakes you have made. Assimilate knowledge from every opportunity that is your own life choices accordingly. Don’t let others make it for you. Not even me. If I ever try to impose my ideas on you, gently brush me off. Because, no matter how much I love you and how much I want you to be happy, it is your life after all and you should never hand over the steering to anyone else. It is convenient sometimes to ride on someone else’s back but the repentance which comes along with it is gigantic. You wouldn’t like that.

Learn to ask questions. The world will shut you down. It

will teach you the convenience of silence. But don't get lured by ease. You should not be afraid of asking a zillion questions to quench your thirst for the knowledge of being. You should not accept norms if it doesn't fit your sensibilities. You should not follow a practice if it doesn't answer your questions. Don't allow the world to tell you how certain things are done in certain ways. Just know there are no conventions big enough to fit your magnificent soul. Now this is very important. I am your mother all fine. But at the end of the day I am just another human being with my own piece of mind and I am not always right. I have unconditional love for you and I will always have your best interest in mind but you should not take even my words on face-value. You should also question my decisions and intentions. You should talk me through your piece of mind and we can together come to a conclusion. We will both learn and grow in the entire process that will require a lot of patience from both of us. Always know that me giving birth to you and taking care of you when you weren't able enough to do it doesn't give me the right to own your capricious soul.

Fall in love. English language is funny. Don't take "fall in love" literally. You

actually rise in it. Very few emotions are as beautiful and as powerful as love. Love can bend rules and flex eternal truths. It can entirely change how we look at things and completely change how we perceive ourselves. Fall in love with yourself, fall in love with the life you have been gifted, fall in love with what the world has to give you, fall in love with the numerous faces of nature, fall in love with a beautiful idea, fall in love with a magnanimous heart, fall in love at first sight, fall in love with overwhelming literature, fall in love with an exquisite art-form. Don't be scared to love with all your heart. You will be bruised and battered inside at some times, your emotions will be dumped in the garbage can at other times. Some incidents will shatter your heart to shards. Some people will trample it mercilessly. But don't allow that to make you bitter. Let that strengthen your character and prepare you to love with more vigor. Because, love, my daughter, is irreplaceable. And you can only love more. There is no other way.

Make peace with yourself. In our society girls are pitilessly judged. They are ruthlessly

objectified. Our society has not learnt to handle an independent woman yet. But don't let that fetter your dreams. Don't let societal muck and grease pull your spirits down. Because it is not the society that defines us but us who makes it. Always know that we create our own conditions. Neither can anybody dream our dreams nor can anybody stop us from dreaming and going all out to make them happen. In your lifetime you will meet so many people and they will be very different from one another and hence they will perceive you very differently. What you should know is that it is not your shortcoming in how they comprehend you but their own. You should learn to quickly brush away flimsy opinions and instead focus on self evaluation. You should question yourself. Questions like what you want from life, how do you want to see yourself, what makes you happy, how far you can go for someone or something you love, what new can you learn to be what you thought you would be, how you can better yourself, how you can make this world a better place to live. And you should learn to answer them honestly and act accordingly. That is how you will strengthen your self-opinion and free yourself from the necessity of validation. And this is not an easy task and it will not happen overnight. There will be days when you will fret about how someone you thought was so close to you said hurtful things about you to someone else in your absence. There will be days when certain comments from certain people will make you cry. But you should not victimize yourself and learn to rise above it. Just know you are not alone. It happens to everyone and it is on us how we want to act upon such things. And that makes you an individual. A unique one.

Invest time in things that broaden your horizon. Read a book, develop a skill, learn

an art form, travel to new places, talk to people belonging to different cultures and religions. Let your thoughts run free. Don’t tell yourself that what you can see is what is true. There are truths which are beyond your horizon at a particular point in time and that are why you need to keep growing it. Keep an open mind. Always be flexible to grasp new ideas and absorb unknown facts. Keep stretching the limits of your mind because mind has none. It is only the concept of time that gives us a narrow view of the world but books, places and people can help us erase the boundaries of time and that is why it is always a gain-gain to devote time to these wonderful means.

And now it is time to tell you about something no Indian mother would tell her daughter. Because even pronouncing “sex” is a taboo in India where ironically the population is uncontrollable. Your body is your kingdom and let nobody tell you otherwise. You have

every right to explore your body and embark on adventurous trips but don’t be a foolish

King. Follow your heart and your instincts and very importantly be aware of what you

are getting into. You have troves of information you will need anywhere you want to find them and more importantly you can always talk to me if you ever want to. I am only a

call away. Sex is a very normal expression of love and it is but very natural to share

your body with the person you have exchanged your heart with and don’t allow anyone to screw the sanctity of the physical union. Sometimes you will have sexual desires and let me tell you these are very humane. You should not feel ashamed of anything. There is absolutely nothing queer in any bodily urge that you will experience and it is all part of the process. Like I told you, you are the autocratic ruler and you will have every right to dictate your body. How you do it is your choice. Take your decisions wisely so that you don’t regret any bit of it.

Grow into a beautiful human being who you will be proud of.

Live your life with no regrets. Love with all your heart. Believe in magic because you are a proof of it. Glow in optimism. Bask in determination. Create moments that you will treasure. Whenever you want to come back home the doors are always open and in your home you will not be judged but only loved. That is all there is to life.

Love,

Ma.