Book Review: 3.02 by Mainak Dhar

I know I am supposed to write an introduction, discuss about the title, cover and genre of the book in the first paragraph of my book review of Mainak Dhar's 3.02, but somehow I feel it is more appropriate to start with this particularly uncanny incident that took place when I leisurely started reading the book on one fine Saturday night. I had just finished reading the back cover of the book to get a feel of what I was up to when there was an unanticipated power cut. No, power cut isn't an out-of-place phenomenon in India and of course people in India don't find it strange either but when you have an idea of what the book is about you will indeed find power cut scarier than ever.

The fiction opens with a regular modern day scenario where the protagonist, Aadi celebrates professional success in one of the innumerable pubs of Mumbai. Ten pages down, you might still mistake the story as just another modern day telltale with beers and cheers connecting the dots. However, the course of action rapidly takes a turn and for the better, I must say. The suspense element is upped by an unusual power cut (Now I guess you can understand why I mentioned my story of power cut) in Aadi’s housing community. All electronic devices are rendered useless (imagining a day without your phone is so hard, ain't it?), cars break down, the communication system goes for a toss. There is suddenly mayhem and chaos instead of dinner dates and happily-ever-afters. The luxuries of everyday life that people are so accustomed to take for granted are suddenly gone and they are stripped to bare necessities. Within a couple of hours Aadi realizes that the problem is much far stretched than he would have liked it to be. In an attempt to help his aged neighbour with his heart ailment, he finds out that the health care system together with the busy Mumbai streets have come to a standstill. He kind of senses that the power is not going to be restored soon. And sensibly he takes the lead in his housing community to handle the never-faced-before situation with his pragmatic acumen. And he does well by roping in proper resources and fearlessly tackling opposition and consequently handling criticism. A perfect example of leading from the front.

And in no time the book converts into a bollywood masala film where there is dollops of drama, handful of heroism and roomy romance. And you will definitely not regret it if you are an action flick addict. There is a good proportion of realism and better proportion of surrealism in the progress of the story but the flow of the story has a very natural easy-going characteristic which is not disrupted till the last page. And that, I believe will keep you going till the end along with terrorists, Indian army and geeks. OK, no more spoilers. You have to read the book to find out more.

Mainak’s style of writing is lucid and his character sketches are vivid. His eye for painstaking details is admirable. He can take you into his world of creative imagination and make you a part of it. His description of situations are so realistic that you can almost feel everything as if it is happening to you. His story building sensibilities in this particular book reminded me of Chetan Bhagat’s Three Mistakes of My Life. The heroic pursuits of Aadi reminded me of Ishaan (Ish).

I think 3.02 is a great choice for a cosy sunday afternoon when you have enough time to contemplate life beyond your comfort zone. Because, this fiction from Mainak Dhar’s stable can really scare you out of your wits and the couch in which you are comfortably cocooned in can suddenly seem unreal. Beware!

I don’t like rating books because dragging literature to the number scale is crime according to me. I would rather give all my heart to Mainak’s thought behind the story that he nicely puts in between the awesomely designed covers of 3.02.

 

Dear Daughter, 

In a country where about half a million girls are not allowed to take birth every year, you were eagerly awaited. I secretly desired a daughter and I could not thank the almighty enough when you stepped into my life. First things first;

It will not be easy. And secondly, easy is boring. So don’t panic when the ride is bumpy. Take it on your stride and learn to iron it out. Most importantly, learn. Learn from your experiences. Learn from the books you read. Learn from the places you friends. Learn from strangers. Learn from the decisions you have taken and the visit. Learn from the homeless. Learn from the well-fed. Learn from your thrown your way and introspect on what you have gathered. And then you can make mistakes you have made. Assimilate knowledge from every opportunity that is your own life choices accordingly. Don’t let others make it for you. Not even me. If I ever try to impose my ideas on you, gently brush me off. Because, no matter how much I love you and how much I want you to be happy, it is your life after all and you should never hand over the steering to anyone else. It is convenient sometimes to ride on someone else’s back but the repentance which comes along with it is gigantic. You wouldn’t like that.

Learn to ask questions. The world will shut you down. It

will teach you the convenience of silence. But don't get lured by ease. You should not be afraid of asking a zillion questions to quench your thirst for the knowledge of being. You should not accept norms if it doesn't fit your sensibilities. You should not follow a practice if it doesn't answer your questions. Don't allow the world to tell you how certain things are done in certain ways. Just know there are no conventions big enough to fit your magnificent soul. Now this is very important. I am your mother all fine. But at the end of the day I am just another human being with my own piece of mind and I am not always right. I have unconditional love for you and I will always have your best interest in mind but you should not take even my words on face-value. You should also question my decisions and intentions. You should talk me through your piece of mind and we can together come to a conclusion. We will both learn and grow in the entire process that will require a lot of patience from both of us. Always know that me giving birth to you and taking care of you when you weren't able enough to do it doesn't give me the right to own your capricious soul.

Fall in love. English language is funny. Don't take "fall in love" literally. You

actually rise in it. Very few emotions are as beautiful and as powerful as love. Love can bend rules and flex eternal truths. It can entirely change how we look at things and completely change how we perceive ourselves. Fall in love with yourself, fall in love with the life you have been gifted, fall in love with what the world has to give you, fall in love with the numerous faces of nature, fall in love with a beautiful idea, fall in love with a magnanimous heart, fall in love at first sight, fall in love with overwhelming literature, fall in love with an exquisite art-form. Don't be scared to love with all your heart. You will be bruised and battered inside at some times, your emotions will be dumped in the garbage can at other times. Some incidents will shatter your heart to shards. Some people will trample it mercilessly. But don't allow that to make you bitter. Let that strengthen your character and prepare you to love with more vigor. Because, love, my daughter, is irreplaceable. And you can only love more. There is no other way.

Make peace with yourself. In our society girls are pitilessly judged. They are ruthlessly

objectified. Our society has not learnt to handle an independent woman yet. But don't let that fetter your dreams. Don't let societal muck and grease pull your spirits down. Because it is not the society that defines us but us who makes it. Always know that we create our own conditions. Neither can anybody dream our dreams nor can anybody stop us from dreaming and going all out to make them happen. In your lifetime you will meet so many people and they will be very different from one another and hence they will perceive you very differently. What you should know is that it is not your shortcoming in how they comprehend you but their own. You should learn to quickly brush away flimsy opinions and instead focus on self evaluation. You should question yourself. Questions like what you want from life, how do you want to see yourself, what makes you happy, how far you can go for someone or something you love, what new can you learn to be what you thought you would be, how you can better yourself, how you can make this world a better place to live. And you should learn to answer them honestly and act accordingly. That is how you will strengthen your self-opinion and free yourself from the necessity of validation. And this is not an easy task and it will not happen overnight. There will be days when you will fret about how someone you thought was so close to you said hurtful things about you to someone else in your absence. There will be days when certain comments from certain people will make you cry. But you should not victimize yourself and learn to rise above it. Just know you are not alone. It happens to everyone and it is on us how we want to act upon such things. And that makes you an individual. A unique one.

Invest time in things that broaden your horizon. Read a book, develop a skill, learn

an art form, travel to new places, talk to people belonging to different cultures and religions. Let your thoughts run free. Don’t tell yourself that what you can see is what is true. There are truths which are beyond your horizon at a particular point in time and that are why you need to keep growing it. Keep an open mind. Always be flexible to grasp new ideas and absorb unknown facts. Keep stretching the limits of your mind because mind has none. It is only the concept of time that gives us a narrow view of the world but books, places and people can help us erase the boundaries of time and that is why it is always a gain-gain to devote time to these wonderful means.

And now it is time to tell you about something no Indian mother would tell her daughter. Because even pronouncing “sex” is a taboo in India where ironically the population is uncontrollable. Your body is your kingdom and let nobody tell you otherwise. You have

every right to explore your body and embark on adventurous trips but don’t be a foolish

King. Follow your heart and your instincts and very importantly be aware of what you

are getting into. You have troves of information you will need anywhere you want to find them and more importantly you can always talk to me if you ever want to. I am only a

call away. Sex is a very normal expression of love and it is but very natural to share

your body with the person you have exchanged your heart with and don’t allow anyone to screw the sanctity of the physical union. Sometimes you will have sexual desires and let me tell you these are very humane. You should not feel ashamed of anything. There is absolutely nothing queer in any bodily urge that you will experience and it is all part of the process. Like I told you, you are the autocratic ruler and you will have every right to dictate your body. How you do it is your choice. Take your decisions wisely so that you don’t regret any bit of it.

Grow into a beautiful human being who you will be proud of.

Live your life with no regrets. Love with all your heart. Believe in magic because you are a proof of it. Glow in optimism. Bask in determination. Create moments that you will treasure. Whenever you want to come back home the doors are always open and in your home you will not be judged but only loved. That is all there is to life.

Love,

Ma.

Top 10 Eco-friendly Hotels in South India

There are a couple of times when you don’t want to do anything but pack your bags and land on the steps of a pretty hotel atop a hill or beside the beach and garage yourself there and do your own things. Maybe, not do anything at all; Catch a glimpse of the sunrise, laze around, walk purposelessly down the pretty drive way, read the books you so wanted to but could not find time to on the terrace garden, do yoga or cycle around a pretty locale nearby. And while doing all these you want to have an experience of a life time. The best way to relax and yet gain something substantial is to lodge in an eco friendly hotel. It is a wholesome experience that you can cherish for years to come. And here goes my list of top 10 eco-friendly hotels in South India to help you beat the untraded path.

Coconut Lagoon, Kumarakom

The air whiffed up by the Kerala spices and the glistening water of canals criss-crossing 30 acres land welcome you enticingly when you set your feet on Coconut Lagoon situated in the Kuttanad district of Kerala. Its villas are furnished with furniture sourced from traditional homes and local craftsmen, with some of the buildings having been transplanted from heritage mansions across Kerala. These are interspersed with beautiful green spaces such as a butterfly garden and a traditional forested area known as the “Sacred Grove”. Over eight acres are used for rice cultivation, especially of the medicinal “njwara” variety. Besides being home to countless water birds such as the Darter, it also helps in the conservation of the world’s smallest cow, the Vechoor. Other local community initiatives include a weekly cleaning initiative to clear the garbage of the neighbouring village. The resort also has a composting plant to convert waste to manure, and offers rides on its solar-powered boat. You can try your hand at canoeing on the canals, coconut husking, or watching a Kalari wrestling match in the morning.

Karuna Farm, Kodaikanal

Karuna is surrounded by forests and peaks on either side, with paths for a short forest stroll or an all day trek, with spectacular views, tropical forest and wildlife, a perfect setting to heal the battered soul. At Karuna Farm, you can get one with nature without giving up on the basic city comfort. At Karuna they don't use electricity from the national grid. All power is sourced from solar energy and hydroelectric power. The climate and water resources are good for cultivation all through the year. The potential is good. Various systems of organic farming are being practiced. At present 20 varieties of fruits are growing. 

SwaSwara, Gokarna, Karnataka

Situated along Gokarna’s beautiful Om Beach, SwaSwara’s goal is to create balance and harmony with the mind and the soul. Guests can try morning yoga on the beaches, meditation, Ayurvedic massages and treatments, pottery classes or Warli painting at the art studio, and learn cooking from the chef. The resort practices vermicomposting, rainwater harvesting, along with recycling waste water in the garden, and turning kitchen and solid waste into biogas for cooking and organic fertilizers. In addition, one-third of the staff is hired locally, with community programs for neighboring schools and self-help groups.

Dune Eco Village & Spa, Pondicherry

Spread across 35 acres on a beach near Pondicherry, the Dune Eco Village & Spa is an oasis of calm and well-being. All its 55 bungalows use solar water systems, low consumption bulbs and organic linen. Many have been built from local colonial houses, planters’ mansions and Chettinad palaces, and several forego air-conditioning for refreshing sea breeze. The Dune also has a seven acre organic farm—equipped with its own composting yard—which supplies fresh produce for the in-house Fun restaurant.

Banasura Hill Resort, Wayanad, Kerala

Asia's largest "Earth" resort, Banasura is predominantly constructed from mud known as rammed earth. Its 31 rooms are nestled on a 35 acre eco-friendly farm, surrounded by rich nature. You can enjoy hiking through the countryside to visit waterfalls, caves, and a tribal village. The resort also has a rejuvenating Ayurvedic spa.

Our Native Village, Bangalore, Karnataka

Have you ever wondered what life in an Indian village is like? You can get a taste of it at Our Native Village, around one hour from Bangalore. Our Native Village is a fantastic place for a family holiday with a difference! The resort offers a range of unique activities such as cow milking, bullock cart rides, kite flying, bicycle riding, organic farming. Comforts aren't overlooked though. The resort's Soul Spa is the perfect place to rejuvenate.

Elephant Valley, Kodaikanal, Tamil Nadu

This 100 acre nature reserve and organic farm has a stunning location on an old pachyderm migration route in the Pani Hills of Tamil Nadu. Even though Kodaikanal is just 20 km away, you’ll want to stay put in this paradisaical resort. Its 20 eco-friendly bungalows are built with local materials such as granite, reclaimed doors and wood, and equipped with solar lights, low consumption bulbs, cast iron wood stoves and firewood fuelled hot water showers. Each has its own private garden, overlooking the Gangavaar River and the pesticide-free coffee plantation. Guests are offered fresh food made with produce from the organic garden and steaming cups of local filter coffee. Don't forget to take a nature walk to see the local wildlife, birds and plant life.

Spice Village, Thekkady, Kerala

Stretched across a misty hilly ridge, Spice Village is only a short distance away from the Periyar Tiger Reserve. There are over 140 varieties of trees spread across its 14 acres, along with a spice garden and organic vegetable farm. All the food cooked in its kitchen is sourced within a 50 mile radius, Guests can go on nature walks and night treks, take a day trip to the neighboring pepper plantation, learn traditional recipes, go bird watching or fishing. The entire estate is chemical-free—natural oils, plants and camphor are used pesticides and insecticides. Every day, waste is segregated and recycled in the in-house vermicompost plant to make organic manure for the vegetable and herbal gardens.

Karadi Malai Camp, Chengalpattu, Tamil Nadu

All activities at Karadi Malai Camp, a little over an hour’s drive from Chennai, are geared towards making visitors comfortable around wildlife. The owners (famous herpetologist-conservationist Romulus Whitaker and his wife Janaki Lenin) and staff encourage visitors to explore the nearby Vallam Reserve Forest. The fit can go for a relatively strenuous hike up the Karadi Malai Hill (700 feet), identifying birds like the spotted owl and paradise flycatcher, and snakes like the Russell’s viper, common krait, and rat snake. A more leisurely walk winds through the forest towards nearby paddy fields, and helps guests understand the interaction between forest and farm ecosystems. Some of these are conducted by members of the Irula tribal community, who, with Whitaker’s help, have switched from being snake hunters to conservationists. The camp has three cottages made with bamboo matting and timber. Each of these solar-powered cottages is surrounded by a moat, which ensures that the property’s snakes and smaller animals let you sleep in peace.

Rainforest Retreat at Mojo Plantation, Coorg, Karnataka

The rainforest retreat at Mojo Plantation is a unique project that combines ecotourism with sustainable agriculture and environment education. The certified organic spice farm, in one of the most natural and scenic parts of Kodagu District, was founded in 1994 by Sujata and Anurag Goel. The botanist couple wished to “explore an organic way of life and a more harmonious existence with nature” and “cater to environmentally conscious and intellectually curious travelers”. The two cottages sit surrounded by bamboo, banana, and fragrant coffee and orange plants, and are lit by eco-friendly 12V solar lights. The plantation’s wide population of creepy-crawlies—including spiders, wasps, dragonflies, frogs, lizards, and snakes—contribute towards a diverse and healthy agri-ecosystem. All organic waste makes its way to the retreat’s biogas plant that powers the kitchen. The rest is composted and used to fertilize crops of coffee, kokum, cardamom, and vanilla, which are also available for sale. There are fine birding and trekking routes around the plantation: A peek around the backyard will reveal wonders like the Atlas moth (the largest of the species), yellow caterpillars, and even a Malabar gliding frog’s foam nest. The forest is at its greenest between September and November.

10 things you should do to maintain a healthy Long Distance Relationship

With our generation choosing to pursue dreams, in a socio-economic structure where we cannot afford to be anything less than anyone else, long distance relationships (LDR) have become commonplace. And we get into it eventually to get out of it always choosing distance as our excuse. But, I believe, a long distance relationship can work if we actually want it to. There will be personal hurdles to cross. In which relationship you don’t have to? Yes, may be in LDR you have more of it. But where is the fun in winning against a weak opponent?

Some say, “Out of sight, out of mind”. Some say, “Distance does not matter”. I say, “If anything is worth fighting for, we should fight for it.”

Trust: Yes, I know, I am packing old wine in an older bottle, but, there are some thumb rules which don’t change with time or articles for that matter. Miles away from your partner, one of the few things you can do right is to have faith in the person you love. Not that you do anything different in any form of relationship but when you are in a LDR you have to up your faith quotient a tad bit more. If your partner says one learn to accept it as one and not add it up with an imaginary one creatively churned out by your dearest brain and make it two. Because in a LDR making up stories in your head will not help. If, you, at some point of time, can no longer trust your partner, just know that you have arrived at the dead end of the road called togetherness. As a breather, trust and distance are much unrelated and definitely not inversely proportional.

Continue with your life: It’s hard and you knew it all along. Yes, you will crave for your partner’s presence in your new life thousands of kilometers away but then, you cannot just keep on pining and do nothing else. Like wise men say, “Life must go on”. Give your best to the new beginning. Your new life deserves your earnest efforts to embrace it. Once you start loving your new life, you will be a happy soul and that same happiness will reflect in your relationship. Since you cannot help the distance, the only thing you can do is to accept it.

Adopt honesty and learn to accept truth: We never seem to get enough of telling lies to make the escape route from sticky situations easier and the only time we hate lies is when they are told to us. It is a humane quality and it will come to you naturally but try to abstain yourself from taking the easier path because the aftermath comes with a lot of frills. And getting emotionally drained when you are physically miles apart from your partner will surely be the last thing on your list.

Create a balance: Don’t make one virtual world for both of you where none of you fit in perfectly. Don’t make two separate worlds for yourselves that keep suffering from collisions. Make two subsets with a smooth area of intersection. In simpler words, create a balance between your new life and old love.

Cut the crap: In a LDR, you have to keep bullshit to the minimum. You can’t afford to breed negative emotions for long. You have to make an ardent effort to clear the air whenever you sense a tension growing through your wall of love. Don’t let the cracks grow bigger than what you can handle. If anything bothers you, speak up. Because even god doesn’t know your problem unless you pray. Pent up emotions will only poison the love potion.

Stop washing and drying your dirty linen in public: Refrain from making your relationship a social circus. Nobody cares if you are ‘feeling love’ or feeling ‘angry’. It is none of their business and rightly so. Don’t make insensitive comments or post stupid messages on your partner’s social profiles. Because the stains of misunderstandings and confusions created in a LDR is harder to get rid of. If you have to fight it out with your partner or shower him /her with excess love do it through a medium where it is only between the two of us. Take my words. It is much convenient that way.

Accept the time zones: Like you cannot know everything happening around the world, you will not know everything happening in your partner’s life which unfurls miles away. Some parts of it will be lost in all those kilometers. And it is perfectly OK to not know everything. Don’t make things hard for yourself because there will be latitudes, longitudes and time zones to make things hard anyways. There will be days on row when you will be so caught up with your life and then there will be days when your partner will be and to make it even worse these days will not coincide. And you should know that this is part of the deal.

Stop being a social police: Basically, stop being an asshole. The ‘blue ticks’ and ‘seen’ and ‘active now’ and ‘online’ and the ‘green dot’ fanaticism will  take you and your relationship nowhere. If your partner wants to talk to you he/she will. And if your partner doesn’t want to what is the point anyways. If you direly want to talk to your partner, just let the person know instead of adding unnecessary complication and creating imbalance in the equation.

Create magic: Normal is boring. And when you are in a LDR, you can’t afford to be boring. Spice up things with surprises. Write a surprise letter saying how much your partner means to you. Send a bunch of flowers or a framed photograph. Something. Anything. It is not about the scale of the surprise but your intentions to make it work.

Learn to let go of smaller things for the longer run: Yes, grow up, in other words. Look past mistakes committed and the calls missed. Take every chance you get to be there with your partner in spirit rather than fuelling your ego, say ‘I love you’ more often rather than squabbling over petty issues. Because, in a LDR you cannot afford to lose even a minute of the already cut down we-time.

10 tips to travel lighter

When it comes for packing for a vacation suddenly the fun is gone. Not many of us like packing and most of us don’t know the art of it at all. We stuff anything and everything and end up paying a lot for checking in these extra stuff. With most of the airlines upping the cost of checking in luggage, you definitely want to travel light if not for anything else. Also, lighter luggage increase mobility and flexibility dramatically.

Here are ten packing light hacks that will come handy for your next packing venture.

Choose a dark, basic color:

While packing clothes stick to a specific color and pack everything around it.  Not only will it save space but quite a lot of time as well. And, a darker shade, needless to say, will allow you to wear a specific clothing article for a longer time. Not for nothing I love black.

Make a mental matching of clothes and occasions:

Say no to clothing items which you can’t wear for more than one occasion. You will always be tempted to pack in your favorite dress or the shirt close to your heart but if it does not serve any purpose you are only filling up your suitcase with junk. In other words, if you want to travel light be rational.

Stick to light, wrinkle-free fabrics:

Light, wrinkle-free fabrics are the god of space. Polyester, spandex, rayon (or lyocell) and cashmere are a few fabrics you got to look out for.

Pack in minimum bottomwear:

This is a trick that will always work. Bottomwear is always heavier and hence packing minimum number of bottomwear and more color-coordinated tops, tees and shirts is a great way to save space and yet flaunt a new look every day on your vacation.

Multifunctional clothing pieces can take you a long way:

A wrap-around skirt which can also act as a maxi dress, a scarf which can also act as a sarong or denim which can also act as shorts are the clothes you should not leave behind while packing. 

Bundle wrapping is the way to go:

Bundle wrapping is the best way to make more space and reduce the chances of wrinkling up clothes. The trick is to put the smallest and the least wrinkle-able clothing on the inside of the bundle and form the outer layers keeping the criteria intact.

Wear the bulkier pieces of clothing on your travel day:

Wear the heaviest jacket or the bulkiest shoe on the day of your travel rather than packing it into your case.

Make a comprehensive list:

The best way to pack in just the right things and avoid packing in unnecessary stuff is to make a list before you actually start packing.

Organize similar stuff together in small pouches:

It is always good to keep your medicines, make-up, toiletries or shaving-kit in separate pouches. It saves space and time finding stuff.  

Cut down on accessories:

No matter how much like your neon sling bag or your fancy sued shoes be judicious and pack only your all-rounder accessories. A basic black handbag or a multipurpose flip-flop is what you should stick to.
  P.S. The images are copied from google. The sources have not been mentioned because of laziness. Pardon your lazy author for the crime. I am already crying inside. Give me peace and solace.

A love letter I wrote to myself

I know I am not exceptionally gifted but I am exceptionally lucky to have all the 206 bones in the right places and all the organs working in amazing coherence. 

I know my maker forgot to add a couple of inches beneath my feet but he cleverly compensated it with a little extra gray tinge to my head.

I know I have an undefined body type with few inches less here and more inches there but I am smart enough to understand why. Yes, because I have been cut out not to fit into definitions but to stand out.

I know I have taken tons of wrong decisions with my limited farsightedness but my strong heart muscles have come to my rescue and taken the blows like a veteran warrior.

I know I don’t have a perfectly sculpted face but my pen takes up my case so perfectly. It can perfectly glide through paper etching flawless words to create an immaculately beautiful character.

I know I don’t have enough money to shop designer clothes, have a closet full of shoes or possess a chest full of makeup to become a different person but I have enough to go to different places and meet different people to understand who I really want to be. Because beneath all the fancy dresses and all the paints on our faces we are all about flesh, bones, the brain that never stops and the heart that incessantly beats.

I know I have lied and I am not going to coin a fancy term like ‘white lies’ to get away with it. But my conscience has been robust enough to accept the consequences and my ego has been benevolent enough to apologize for the all wrong done unwittingly.

I know I have not achieved great things in life or impacted enough lives but I have the stomach to accept my failures and a determination to make things work.

I know I have been and will continue to get knocked out of the ring by more powerful opponents but I have a strong gut to pick myself up and give my hundred percent all over again to make the story end differently.

I know I have met dead ends on my path to greater heights because I got tempted to take short-cuts but my strong legs and a stronger will have wheeled me towards more lucrative directions, absolutely mesmerizing sights and wondrous experiences. 

I know I can never be the daughter my parents would have loved to have but I have enough perseverance to keep trying to be the daughter they will always be proud of.

I know I have not tried hard enough to make new friends or keep the old ones but I have enough humility to acknowledge every attempt made and enough gratitude to value every effort people make to keep me in their lives.

I know I am not a perfect lover and I have failed relationships to vouch for but I don’t fear opening my heart and baring my soul each time because that’s my idea of love. 

I know I think too much into things, I know I drink too much, I know I debate with all ardency to defend the things I believe in and come out as headstrong, I know I am not too much into table etiquette and I don’t have too much grace but I have enough charm and a generous smile to cover it all up.

Every morning while having my coffee I cannot help wonder how miraculously perfect I am in all my imperfectness that I get shit scared of becoming perfect and I cannot help but whisper to myself, “I love you”.

This new year I did not resolute to become better; I fell in love with the faulty ‘me’.