Are you the slightly offbeat sociable type but you often find yourself stuck in the wrong place where you don’t actually fit in? Are there a thousand words crumpled inside your small intestine but you don’t have a like-minded ear to pour them into? Are there zillion unhinged ideas running steadfast in your cerebrum and hitting the proverbial dead end because you don’t have the perfect (read lunatic) partner in crime to execute them? Are there myriad of far-out things you want to try out, an equal number of intriguing places you want to visit and another handful of queer cuisines you want to lap up and then you bundle those deep-seated desires inside the crevices of your soul because no one around you is as weird?
Well, it happens. And it happens to all of us at some point of time in our lives. We find ourselves immiscible, we try our best to harmonize but all our efforts fall out of tune. And that is exactly the orifice through which loneliness creeps in slowly and steadily into our lives.
If you find yourself in a similar soup right now or you find yourself in it more often in your path towards the who-knows-what you got to read this because I can assure you this is exactly what you have been looking for. For you I jot down ten cool ways to battle the blue bug we sometimes call “loneliness”.
1. Loneliness and desperation over the ages have given us the best of literary pieces. When you are down, when you find yourself trying too hard to fit in, give up your efforts on being just one among them and be a writer instead.
Well every story is not meant to be told, every poem isn't heart-rendering, some pieces are just meant to be drafted to tear them into pieces and aim them at the nearest dustbin the very next moment.
The best way to channelize your loneliness is through your pen. Trust me, there is some magical balm that oozes out of your pen every time it touches its soul mate (we
cliched “ly” call paper). Well, you don’t need to know your grammar, your vocabulary can be a skimpily clad super model but how does it matter?
P.S.: If you are just as bad as bad can be, make a to-do list (at the ‘least’). It will help and you can take my word on that.
2. Binge on delicacies. A mango cheesecake, hot and steamy aloo paratha or a plate of tangy pani puri can be it.
Go out and treat yourself. No, it is not weird to go to a restaurant and gorge on the best things it has on its menu with no one by your side. But you worry not. I have a trick up my sleeve for you too. Yes, cook delicacies instead. I do it all the time and every time it works wonder.
Bake a cake, make an exotic dish, create your own trade-mark flavour.
The entire process is so exhilarating that you would never run out of fizz.
3. Exercise. No, neither am I a Gym Manager nor I am the Yoga Guru. But it does help and I can assure you that. Metabolism, blood circulation is passe. Exercise can heal your heart (and the good thing is literally too). You can vent your loneliness through a little hop and run.
And when you are in good shape you feel better too.
4. Pack your bag and go hiking. Yes, in India travelling alone is a pain in the ass (especially for girls, I know) and you may not be a pro either. For you, there are a lot of associations and clubs who organize hiking and camping. You just need to stuff in your absolutely-musts and get set go. That’s easy and to top it all it will leave you wanting for more.
A tryst with nature is all that you can ask for to kill your loneliness. Amidst nature, you need no one (and it is better that way, trust me. Who wants a nagging partner or a wailing baby in the thick of a serene jungle. Not me, not you either).
5. If you are a lazy ass, you too can go places without really going through all that trouble. Pick up a book. OK, you aren't the reader type? Watch a phantasmagorical movie instead. And immediately you will be flown off to a different world. Your own imaginary world and you will be lonely no more.
6. Stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. I know you must be giggling. But it works. We talk to the newspaper man, the milkman, the pesky neighbour but never to ourselves. It is a healthy exercise. We try to understand the world around us but we hardly try to understand ourselves. We live our entire life trying to make people happy, people we don’t talk to, people we dislike, people we don’t even know exists. However, we rarely work for our happiness. And we don’t because we don’t know what makes us happy. And we don’t know because we have a communication gap with ourselves.
If you don’t have people to talk to what the heck. Talk to yourself. About things you want, about places you want to be in, about food you want to gulp down, about people you want to hug and then about people whose noses you want to break. Enact the dream that may be a dream forever. Play-act the conversation that you know would never happen. Communicate with yourself. That is the key.
7. Tend to something. Yes, a pet may be.
If you aren't a pet person resort to gardening instead. Taking care of plants and animals is far more rewarding than a fruitless party with poppycock people. You will know once you start doing it.
8. Take a ride. In your car, on your bike or your bicycle. Any damn thing you have. Let the air flow through your hair and enter into your soul.
OK, you don’t have any vehicle to carry you? Carry yourself. Plug in your earphones and go zoom. Take a walk, run through or jog your way. Cleanse your mind, purify your soul and push out the lonely demon inside you.
9. Pursue your passion. Take up salsa classes you so wanted to. Learn pottery, paint the canvas red, let some music play,go click click. To vent away loneliness through creative avenues is the best thing that can happen. At the end of the day you will feel so satiated with the entire experience that you will want to be lonely for the rest of your life.
10. If all else fails, take the road most travelled. Go shopping. Go on a date with yourself. Buy yourself nice things. Make yourself look good just for nothing or none for that matter. Give yourself time. Fall in love with yourself all over again. Rediscover yourself. Be your own darling.
When you become perfectly comfortable with yourself you will need no company.
Well, we don’t invite loneliness. But when it slowly casts its shadow on you, you should not panic but be prepared to fight. And now I am sure you are, aren't you?
Now happily sing to yourself, “I am Mr Lonely and I need nobody.”
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