With our
generation choosing to pursue dreams, in a socio-economic structure where we
cannot afford to be anything less than anyone else, long distance relationships
(LDR) have become commonplace. And we get into it eventually to get out of it
always choosing distance as our excuse. But, I believe, a long distance
relationship can work if we actually want it to. There will be personal hurdles
to cross. In which relationship you don’t have to? Yes, may be in LDR you have
more of it. But where is the fun in winning against a weak opponent?
Some say,
“Out of sight, out of mind”. Some say, “Distance does not matter”. I say, “If
anything is worth fighting for, we should fight for it.”
Trust: Yes, I know, I am packing old wine
in an older bottle, but, there are some thumb rules which don’t change with
time or articles for that matter. Miles away from your partner, one of the few
things you can do right is to have faith in the person you love. Not that you
do anything different in any form of relationship but when you are in a LDR you
have to up your faith quotient a tad bit more. If your partner says one learn
to accept it as one and not add it up with an imaginary one creatively churned
out by your dearest brain and make it two. Because in a LDR making up stories
in your head will not help. If, you, at some point of time, can no longer trust
your partner, just know that you have arrived at the dead end of the road
called togetherness. As a breather, trust and distance are much unrelated and
definitely not inversely proportional.
Continue with your life: It’s hard and you knew it all along. Yes, you will
crave for your partner’s presence in your new life thousands of kilometers away
but then, you cannot just keep on pining and do nothing else. Like wise men
say, “Life must go on”. Give your best to the new beginning. Your new life
deserves your earnest efforts to embrace it. Once you start loving your new
life, you will be a happy soul and that same happiness will reflect in your
relationship. Since you cannot help the distance, the only thing you can do is
to accept it.
Adopt honesty and learn to accept truth: We never seem to get enough of telling lies to make
the escape route from sticky situations easier and the only time we hate lies
is when they are told to us. It is a humane quality and it will come to you
naturally but try to abstain yourself from taking the easier path because the
aftermath comes with a lot of frills. And getting emotionally drained when you
are physically miles apart from your partner will surely be the last thing on
your list.
Create a balance: Don’t make one virtual world for both of you where none of you fit in
perfectly. Don’t make two separate worlds for yourselves that keep suffering
from collisions. Make two subsets with a smooth area of intersection. In
simpler words, create a balance between your new life and old love.
Cut the crap: In
a LDR, you have to keep bullshit to the minimum. You can’t afford to breed
negative emotions for long. You have to make an ardent effort to clear the air
whenever you sense a tension growing through your wall of love. Don’t let the
cracks grow bigger than what you can handle. If anything bothers you, speak up.
Because even god doesn’t know your problem unless you pray. Pent up emotions
will only poison the love potion.
Stop washing and drying your dirty linen in public: Refrain from making your relationship a social circus.
Nobody cares if you are ‘feeling love’ or feeling ‘angry’. It is none of their
business and rightly so. Don’t make insensitive comments or post stupid
messages on your partner’s social profiles. Because the stains of
misunderstandings and confusions created in a LDR is harder to get rid of. If
you have to fight it out with your partner or shower him /her with excess love
do it through a medium where it is only between the two of us. Take my words.
It is much convenient that way.
Accept the time zones: Like you cannot know everything happening around the
world, you will not know everything happening in your partner’s life which
unfurls miles away. Some parts of it will be lost in all those kilometers. And
it is perfectly OK to not know everything. Don’t make things hard for yourself
because there will be latitudes, longitudes and time zones to make things hard
anyways. There will be days on row when you will be so caught up with your life
and then there will be days when your partner will be and to make it even worse
these days will not coincide. And you should know that this is part of the deal.
Stop being a social police: Basically, stop being an asshole. The ‘blue ticks’ and
‘seen’ and ‘active now’ and ‘online’ and the ‘green dot’ fanaticism will take you and your relationship nowhere. If your
partner wants to talk to you he/she will. And if your partner doesn’t want to
what is the point anyways. If you direly want to talk to your partner, just let
the person know instead of adding unnecessary complication and creating
imbalance in the equation.
Create magic: Normal
is boring. And when you are in a LDR, you can’t afford to be boring. Spice up
things with surprises. Write a surprise letter saying how much your partner
means to you. Send a bunch of flowers or a framed photograph. Something. Anything.
It is not about the scale of the surprise but your intentions to make it work.
Learn to let go of smaller things for the longer run: Yes, grow up, in other words. Look past mistakes
committed and the calls missed. Take every chance you get to be there with your
partner in spirit rather than fuelling your ego, say ‘I love you’ more often
rather than squabbling over petty issues. Because, in a LDR you cannot afford
to lose even a minute of the already cut down we-time.
Good one..!!!
ReplyDeleteRightly said
ReplyDeleteThank you guys... :)
ReplyDelete